then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
