i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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