So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My liver just broke up with me...
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
