I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
