I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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