no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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