I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
