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oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
In America we eat man semen.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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