she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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