I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize