Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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