Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
