yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
