Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
