i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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