There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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