I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
