Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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