Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize