i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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