I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Sorry about my life...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
