You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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