Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
