Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he laminated a picture of his dick.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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