the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
