are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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