don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
