If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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