Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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