I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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