These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
