I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
