is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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