I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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