Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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