there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
