sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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