we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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