I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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