please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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