that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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