stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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