her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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