i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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