i need an iv and a liver transplant
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
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