morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
