hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
