Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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