I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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