I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
