im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
