I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
