Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize