bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
