guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
