Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
