Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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