Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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