Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
