Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize