return my video game
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
