does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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