I am spending my child support on dildos
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
