Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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