That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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