4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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