I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
smell my finger.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You took a bar mat shot.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
