This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
