it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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