You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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