I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
