There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
