I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Terrible idea I love it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
