My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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