when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
