Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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