Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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