It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize