I feel like abortions should bother me more
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
