Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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